Real Genius

Sorry for my absence. I’ve been knee-deep (at least) in rewrites and beta reading/critiquing. And, you know, the whole raising a kid thing. But he’s happily distracted by an electronic device at the moment (hey, it’s an e-reader for kids! He’s learning something-don’t judge me!), so I thought I’d drop some knowledge.

Becoming a parent does something to you. Well, it does many things to you, but I’m going to focus on one today: the “My kid is a genius, so I must record for the world and all of humanity his every accomplishment” thing.

We all do it, and our friends all smile and say things like “Wow! Look at that. That’s really impressive. Yup. That finger painting does look just like it’s from Monet’s Water Lilies series.” The friends who are also parents then lavish us with stories and pictures of their own kids, and we marvel at the infinitesimal odds of us both having child prodigies. The ones without kids nod and smile politely, their eyes glazed, just waiting to get home so they can lament their crazy friends. We know this, and laugh at their naïveté—I mean, they just don’t get it—but they get the last laugh by staying up late watching R rated movies and sleeping in until 9AM.


We exist in a blissful ignorance, a bubble of parenthood that makes us forget what it’s like not to have kids. We become immersed in a world of amazement, every first a tiny miracle to our mom and dad brains, and we worry that if we miss something, we might forget. The time flies by with amazing speed, the firsts going by in a blur, so we do what we can to catch them and keep them. And we NEED to share. Because no other child has ever done such amazing things!

We really are doing this for the greater good. Our photos, videos and Facebook updates (“Wohoo! He pooped in the potty!”) are history in the making. I mean, what if he’s The President someday, and I didn’t capture the moment, highlighting his early flashes of brilliance, foreshadowing his future as the leader of the free world? I clearly owe it to AMERICA to take this picture:

I mean, he’s not even four yet, and he’s writing words.

Okay, he may have some spacing issues, but writing BOAT is pretty impressive.

Well, BOA


What do you suppose he’s telling us? Our economy is adrift in uncertain waters, in danger of running aground? We need find a safe harbor in order to weather the storm, or face the prospect of a global economy collapsing under its own weight?

That’s probably it. He’s boiled down the Greek debt crisis into a single word, a beautiful metaphor.

Told you he’s a genius.


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