“Books are never finished, they are merely abandoned.”
On Sunday, I turned in the final corrections on Life, A.D. after spending three days scrutinizing the proofs in search of errors (and thanks to the amazing work of the Month9Books staff, there was hardly a thing I could find!). After clicking “send” on the email to my publisher, I was hit was a strange feeling, one that was a sense of accomplishment combined with relief, and a bit of sadness.
You’d think I’d be giddy, right? My book is finally off to print! Hooray!
And I am excited. Believe me. It’s hard to put into just how excited, which for an author, is a bit of a problem. I should be better at expressing myself, but in this regard, I am at a loss for words. It’s such a privilege to be where I am right now as a writer, and it’s hard for me to find a way to adequately describe my feelings.
Amid the excitement and the sense of relief that all this time and work is finally paying off, there’s a hint of sadness.
I’m done with Life, A.D.
My work on a book that began in the usual way—a spark of an idea that floated into my mind—had reached its conclusion. This is the first book I’ve ever written, a project I worked on in fits and starts since shortly after the birth of my son (now almost six!), and now I’m done. Completely.
What I’ve written is going to printed page, and I will have no more chances to make it better.
I know that revision is a potentially never-ending trap, which is why I’m glad I have a publisher, and deadlines. Left to my own devices, I might never get done. My hats off to those who self-publish (seriously!), because I’m the kind of person who needs to be pushed off the ledge in order to fly. I’m not jumping.
It’s a bit daunting, this being done forever business. My book is going out into the big, bad world, but it is ready? Am I ready? This is the kind of thing that drags out all my worst, neurotic qualities. What if nobody likes it? What if my words aren’t good enough? Did I work hard enough? Is my story strong enough? Yuck, right? I mean, give me a break, crazy lady…
The thing is, the publishing process keeps you really busy. I am on the cusp of the following: promoting book one while editing book two, and writing book three. Kind of all at the same time, which means I don’t have nearly the time my crazy mind would like to spend being freaked out.
So back to it I go.
Fly, Life, A.D., fly. You’re getting kicked from the nest.